Brazil – Paraty – São Paulo
What I want
I found Brazil to be a very lively country. Life happens a lot on the streets and on the beach. The people I met are all very warm and hospitable. You quickly get into conversation and I felt noticed by the interest in me. However, there is a big gap between rich and poor that is constantly brought to your attention. Especially in the cities, this is very noticeable. I didn’t notice it in the countryside. But maybe it’s just more hidden. But I haven’t noticed it as extreme as here in Colombia, where I am right now. More about that another time.
I see my trip less as a vacation in which I try to see and experience as much as possible, but as a journey to myself. That’s why the people I spend time with are more important to me than the place I’m in. Sometimes that person can be myself. If I can choose it, then it is preferably a quiet place in nature. If it’s a city, then with little traffic and lots of greenery. Places where I can retreat to switch off.
Rio de Janeiro
I couldn’t really enjoy my time in Rio. In Copacabana, where Stephen lives, it’s so noisy and the traffic so overwhelming for me that my mind has no space at all to unfold and relax. That’s why I’ve always escaped to nature between my stays in Rio. Others can get used to the noise. Stephen enjoys living in the hustle and bustle of the city with the beach just around the corner. For me, it’s nothing.
I wonder to what extent you can be affected by too much noise that is around you all the time, and how far you can block it out without it affecting your psyche. A quick Google search confirms my feeling: noise makes you sick.
Gardening
I wake up to the morning noise, I turn it off to meditate, the technology in my ear muffles the noise, It does what it can. It becomes my daily companion. It is a solution to a problemthat we ourselves have created. Technology is followed by more technology. I lie down exhausted to the sounds. Consciousness switches off, the neighbours turn it up. I wonder if it will continue to get through to me. I think it is, deep sleep eludes me. I toss and turn. The pillow is hard.As always, when sleep does not want to cover me. The cycle begins anew every day. This journey is to teach me to discover who I am, what I want and where I want to live in the future. I give myself the space to explore what I want, without the sometimes ingrained daily routine that has held me in its clutches in the past. The everyday, the routine if you will, can be a very calming thing. But how one comes to this routine, how consciously you acquire it, determines for mehow satisfied I can be with it. I'm looking for a lifestyle, consciously, more driven by me. That means that I consciously cultivate the garden which is life, consciously curated. I don't just let the weeds grow, or it will eventually choke out the colourful flowers that make me so proud to have planted and tended them. Some plants I may like, but they don't fit in with the rest of the bouquet. You don't have to throw it away straight away, Transplanting it might give it a place where it fits better. The grass is mown, The branches of the trees and shrubs are trimmed. A few new paving stones helpthrough the garden. At some point, a garden gnome may be added, with similar ideas about landscaping. Suddenly, watering and weeding are done together.
Right now, my gardening consists more of weeding than planting. I remove the plants from my garden that I don’t like as much. What remains are the ones I’ve always liked and make room for new ones I don’t even know exist yet.
Paraty
For a change, I did a little hike, an hour and a half to the top of Pão de Açúcar and back. Not the one in Rio, there is also one in Paraty. In German it is known as Zuckerhut. From there you have a magnificent view of the fjords of Paraty. Supposedly the only tropical fjord in the world.
In Paraty I found another place of rest in a hostel that looks like a tree house. A place where I can continue to work on my routines that make up my new life. Every morning after I get up, I meditate and stretch. I write, for myself and for others. I am in the moment. Whether I am resting or moving. I enjoy the day.
Paraty was the last stop before heading to Brazil’s largest city. São Paulo has twelve million inhabitants.
Opening up the world of emotions
Seek and you shall find. Sometimes you don’t know until it suddenly happens. I met Olga last year in Portugal. I had just arrived at the bus station in Coimbra and was waiting to be picked up by my friends. I walked up and down a few meters next to her, staring at my phone to see where my friends were. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the woman on the bench watching me and taking notes. I’m a little torn about whether to approach her, but finally take heart. After a brief conversation in bumpy Portuguese, Spanish and English, we exchanged numbers and met again a few days later in Porto. We were on the same wavelength. That’s how she ended up inviting me to Brazil. How fitting that the country is on my itinerary this year.
Olga gave me the space and confidence to awaken an emotional side of me that rarely came out before. Opening up helps me to relax. To take things slowly instead of tackling them immediately. Letting go of expectations I have of myself and others. Expectations that I don’t really know where they come from. Whether they come from society, culture, or family, being aware of them helps me get them out of the way.
Sometimes I send signals that can be misunderstood. My face and intentions are obviously hard to read. Olga sometimes didn’t know what to make of me and my behavior. This is not the first time I have heard this. I think it’s because I’m still kind of walking around with my handbrake on. I’m not ready, even unconsciously, to engage with the opposite sex. To be fair, I also have to admit that her quiet, observant nature does its part and makes it difficult to read her mood. I think we irritated each other in this way and also influenced each other.
It’s hard for me to relinquish control and trust that the imaginary predatory cat won’t hurt me. My mind is quick to find things to put in my way. It starts with projecting onto my counterpart an expectation that has little to do with reality. I’m a Picasso when it comes to painting the devil on the wall. And that creates distance and stress. This projected expectation alone puts me in a state of mental and often physical rigidity.
The stone I had previously started rolling with Josie helped me this time to continue to grow and understand myself a little better. That stone is called vulnerability and openness. I am very grateful that I was able to have this experience with so many dear people around me and that I did not have to take this journey alone.
São Paulo
A few words about the city where I spent more than a week but didn’t really see much. In general, I noticed that Brazil is not the country where you can get good coffee on every corner. My expectation was quite different. But apparently all the good coffee is exported abroad. In Brazil, people are content with a quality that I don’t know, unlike New Zealand and Australia, where it’s hard to get bad coffee.
Traffic also dominates the streets of São Paulo. I once drove Olga’s car a few kilometers through the city on a Friday night. It was not what I would recommend. I consider myself a forward-thinking and calm driver. But I lack the experience for chaos. Streets suddenly merge into other streets in some cases or change direction. Once you take a wrong turn, it can quickly take 15 minutes to get back on track.
There are some parks in the city, but very few for the size of the city. There is a wide variety of restaurants to choose from. Even for me, who eats a plant-based diet when possible, there are plenty to choose from.
Fruits and vegetables are best bought at the weekly market. There you can get a week’s worth of very fresh goodies for very little money. Supermarkets, on the other hand, I have found to be very expensive.
If you want to go out, you can also find something. One evening we went to a concert, which I had to leave early because it was too loud for me. I always thought that I hear badly, but apparently others hear even worse when the music is so loud everywhere. Oh man, not only do I hear like a grandpa, I sound like one too.
There are many museums. São Paulo seems to me to be a center of culture. In the gallery we were in, there was a room without walls. All the paintings hung on glass panels, so you could see far across all the exhibits. Some works even benefited from being seen from both sides.
After a wonderful month in Brazil, I am now off to Colombia. Again I have a friend who I will visit and stay with for a while.
Comments (1)